This yr I am hoping to proceed doing the nice I have been doing for my very own life and dealing on myself as a lot as doable.
I do not actually imagine in New Yr’s resolutions, however I positively like to set my intentions after which re-evaluate them from time to time to ensure I’m staying on observe.
There are some things I feel I did proper in 2022: I saved cash, I labored onerous, I rested rather a lot, I partied, I ate good meals, I labored out generally. However in fact, there are additionally a number of issues I feel I would like to go away behind as I enter this new season.
I might wish to be kinder to myself, extra open to alter, affected person, current, humble, higher at speaking, extra forgiving and never afraid to push previous my self-imposed limitations.
The older I get, the extra certain I grow to be of myself and what I wish to obtain within the restricted time I’ve on earth, and I am beginning to perceive the function I’ve on this actuality.
I wish to see the world, make tons of cash, fall in love and create artwork that’s significant, impactful and everlasting, amongst different issues, however I do not wish to go loopy making an attempt to do all of it.
I wish to work onerous and I wish to relaxation, I wish to return to highschool and I wish to discover different passions of mine, and I wish to contribute meaningfully to the world.
One other a part of dwelling a extra constructive and balanced life is enhancing the connection I’ve with my psychological well being and my physique.
For some cause, I’m always caught on this bizarre in-between area the place I’m completely in love with myself and totally annoyed with not being lovely sufficient or clever sufficient or no matter metric of measurement I am utilizing to torture myself with on the time.
So, I am making an attempt to counter that by taking a step again and selecting to not over-
analyse each little factor.
Proper now, meals has me in a good grip. My relationship with consuming and weight-reduction plan has by no means been steady, however I promise you, I am engaged on it. I am studying that generally it isn’t that deep.
It actually is not simple, although. I’ve realised that being alive is a lot work. It requires a lot of me at a time once I’m bored with every part I’ve ever recognized.
The best reward I am giving myself this yr is shifting to a brand new setting, switching my schedule up and assembly new folks. I’ve by no means been one to run away from my issues however I feel proper now it can do me a world of excellent to step exterior of my common programming and expertise one thing new and magical.
Possibly it’s simply the factor I would like to repair my continual mind fog, never-ending sleepiness, excruciating boredom, almost crippling introversion and deep, deep desperation to do one thing enjoyable and attention-grabbing.
Like I mentioned, I’m really doing very well and I simply wish to discover methods through which I can proceed on that path. I like to think about myself as a bit of artwork that can by no means be accomplished. I’ll always be exploring myself and I’ll all the time be making an attempt to alter, mould and adapt.
However, actually, I do not suppose there may be some magical excellent ending that I will discover. I feel loving myself totally will include totally accepting myself for who I’m on the within, and understanding that I’m not priceless solely due to what I can do or how I look.
I’ve worth as a result of I’m me. That is what I am making an attempt to determine in 2023, reaching ahead to the long run whereas loving and appreciating myself, trying again with out remorse and sorrow, and dwelling within the second each single likelihood I get.
I hope what I’ve written down right here makes some semblance of sense to you. I hate to set very particular objectives every year as a result of the stress to fulfil them all the time will get to me lengthy earlier than I will make any vital impression. I don’t reply nicely to loopy plans and schedules, however I like to softly steer myself on the river, permitting the present to dictate the movement of the boat whereas nonetheless maintaining my thoughts on the bigger journey that life is.
It’d sound unusual, nevertheless it works for me. One way or the other, weirdly, I can say that I’m actually joyful. I’m at some extent in my life the place I’m genuinely content material and glad, and so massively grateful for all that I’ve, and all that I’m. I am unable to wait to see me develop.
– Anne Hambuda is a poet, author and social commentator from
Windhoek. Comply with her on-line or e mail her at [email protected] for extra.
Supply: namibian
